Shades of Gray

As I've been reading, there are a couple of things I've been struck with about the life of Jesus. One of them is a matter of priorities. I can't find a time when Jesus was in a hurry. I think that at some level I try to convince myself that if Jesus were walking the earth he'd be in a hurry too. But I don't think his lack of hurry to get things done would change no matter what the circumstances were. And this is puzzling to me. If ever there were someone who you would expect to be in a hurry, it would be Jesus. He had so much to accomplish and a very definite time frame in mind. He knew that he was marked for death and knew that it was coming soon. Even armed with that knowledge, Jesus had time for things that we would consider insignificant. More correctly, he made time for them. When the woman with the issue of blood was healed, Jesus was actually on his way to do something else. The woman was healed when she touched him and Jesus was on his way to a an appointment. Still, he turned aside to attend to this woman. I was listening to Frank on Wednesday night and he talked about love. I think the difference between me and Jesus (as if there were only one) is that love dictated his priorities. Why would he stop everything for this woman? There was a crowd and he had somewhere to be. He stopped because of his great love for her. Think about that for a minute. There is nothing so urgent, so pressing, that God wouldn't stop everything to come to my rescue. I have time to do almost anything I want. I can't say that I don't have time for this or that, when I know perfectly well that I had time to watch American Idol two nights in a row. Love is supposed to be the mark that identifies me as a disciple of Jesus. Too often, I don't act in love and I use lame excuses like "I didn't have time" or "I'm just too busy right now" or if I'd like to be especially holy "that's just not my calling/gifting". We have recently heard that Jesus is coming soon. I've heard it more times than I can count. But I still walk around unchanged. I still act like the disciples, keeping Jesus for myself, preventing others from getting close because it would cost me. How will God view this? I must be convinced that he'll just wink at it, because that is what I act like to often. The big question is this - Am I living a life that is pleasing to God or am I living a life that I hope He'll be ok with?